QUICKI Mobil WC - lacht auch mal

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs, only one's coming and one's going!

Inland Revenue: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Dont piss me off- I am running out of places to hide the bodies

Ban toilet cleaner- Germs have feelings too

Be nice to your children- they choose your nursing home

Next time you wave, use all your fingers.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a keg ... coincidence?

Q. If the dove is the bird of peace what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Q. What is the difference between "oooooohhhhh" and "aaaaaahhhhhh"?
A. About 3 inches

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.

They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Im a bomb technition, if you see me running, try to keep up.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?